Sunday, December 29, 2013

New Years Resolutions?


I don't believe in New Years Resolutions and I consider them a waste of time and energy,  plus they are for a great majority of individuals, self deception. They say they want to change or do what they don't want, or doesn't have the will.

I am sure the optimists will disagree with me and I am happy for their disagreement; I also have no doubt that there exists organize and self discipline persons that stick to their resolutions.

I have a question for you. Why wait for the New Year to change or do something to really want to do or change?

2012 was a very hard year for me, all the bad things that could happen, happened (my father died, my boyfriend left me for a woman 22 years younger, some co workers where making my life miserable, etc). When I reached my lowest point, I remembered reading years back the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and since I had no other option at the moment, applied what the book teach and preach. Live the NOW.

I took one day at a time. Even the worse ones, I was happy to make it to the end of the day.  At the end of each day I started to realize that the day was actually good and was my anxiety to change things over and move on that was creating an imaginary bad day. I started to count my blessings one day at a time. In no time I was over my Ex and I accepted the departure of my father. Paid no attention to my working environment and things started to get better.

Living the now liberated me. I had a fantastic 2013! Could've been better? Yes, Bad things happened? Of course. But I enjoyed every single day and lived to the fullest. I started a new job 3 months ago and can't be happier.

Please don't wait for tomorrow  or the New Years to make the changes you want to make. You can start one day at a time and that day is NOW.

If you haven't done it, and you've been sticking to that resolution for years, you might not be ready or maybe you don't really want to. You might have been trying to please the expectations of others.  Don't make it harder for you later, when you realize that your resolutions lasted only for a few days and you start making Lame Excuses.

No more New Years resolutions for me, they are daily resolutions.

I am leaving you know with my all time favorite, the Great Mark Twain on New Years resolutions.

**Territorial Enterprise, January 1, 1863

LOCAL COLUMN

NEW YEAR'S DAY

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink, and swore his last oath. To-day, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient short comings considerably shorter than ever. We shall also reflect pleasantly upon how we did the same old thing last year about this time. However, go in, community. New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls, and humbug resolutions, and we wish you to enjoy it with a looseness suited to the greatness of the occasion.

[reprinted in The Works of Mark Twain; Early Tales & Sketches, Vol. 1 1851-1864, (Univ. of California Press, 1979), p. 180.]

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

Please contact me if you find any grammatical errors, I apologize but English is not my native language.

**Twain's quote source: www.twainquotes.com

Monday, December 9, 2013

The Invisible Woman

I

Charles Dickens is one of my favorite authors, not only for his alluring narratives, but also for the strong moral messages in his fiction. Dickens was the principal novelist of the Victorian period and a moral authority of his time. In the present era, it is refreshing to read stories such as Nicholas Nickleby, Little Dorrit, A Tale of Two Cities, and A Christmas Carol - honor, family, and social concerns are central themes.

Dickens did, however, abandon his wife after 22 years of marriage — the draw being a British actress, Ellen (Nelly) Ternan, 27 years his junior. I can hardly convey my surprise at this discovery: he left his home and hid his motives from his children. Only the older son, Charley, knew. But he refused to go with his father.

In The Invisible Woman British novelist Claire Tomalin explores the romance between Charles Dickens and Nelly Ternan. Now, Ralph Fiennes has captured the story on film. Fiennes is the director and principal actor, alongside a cast that includes Felicity Jones, Kristin Scott Thomas, Michelle Fairley, and Tom Hollander.


Discovering this chapter in Dickens’s life really hit home. My boyfriend left me for a woman 22 years younger than he was. Why do men have such an interest in younger women? Why do young women have such an interest in older men?
The first question seems easy to answer: youth, geniality, beauty, innocence — feeding the pride and ego of a man. However, that does not rule out the possibility of a truly loving relationship, based on mutual admiration, support, and shared your interests.

This is what I think happened between Dickens and Ternan.

Perhaps the perspective and motives on the side of the woman are more complex. Nowadays, society frowns upon those relationships — and I say "nowadays," because in the past the normal union was between a mature man and a young woman. Today we suspect that there exists an economic reason for the relationship: "She is with that old man because he has money.” But I would add, besides success, power, and money, older men invoke admiration.

Without doubt, a man who has already achieved success in his professional life or is at the peak of his career is much more attractive, since it allows him to present more confidence in himself. And we cannot deny our animal nature: the alpha male is the leader of the pack, after all.

This type of relationship is much more common and socially accepted in academic or intellectual circles, because there is nothing as attractive as an intellectual connection with someone — not to discount the value of physical attraction and chemistry. And I believe they constitute a resilient form of relationship, even if they are less frequent.

In general, relationships in which there is a large age difference are shorter. The age difference presents big challenges. Even if at the beginning there is a lot of interest and passion, it could be difficult to sustain the same feelings over the course of time. Female sexual plenitude happens around age 40, and if the man is more than 15 years older one can see how his age might impede his keeping up.

This does not mean this kind of couple cannot have sexual life, but for many women this can be a major concern. It also affects social life, because as one grows older, we lose interest in social activities and expect a quiet home life. If the woman is much younger and not yet ready for such a quiet tranquil existence, this may lead to boredom, feelings of monotony, lack of motivation, and can result in a loss of interest.

Tomalin's book shows that, in the case of Dickens and Ternan, it was a relationship based on mutual interests. They shared a deep intellectual connection and an intense love for one another. She was an actress, and although it was not a profession loved by Victorian society they did enjoy certain freedoms that other women of the era did not have. In fact, some believe these freedoms are equivalent to those of women in the late 20th century. It is known that Catherine, Dickens’ wife, did not share her husband's interests, while Ternan was known for her intellectual and political interests.

I am anxious to see how Ralph Fiennes plays Dickens in the film, and how he manages to transmit the essence of this romance from the role of director. It is worth mentioning that the former wife of Fiennes, Francesca Annis, is 17 years older than him. Are there personal reasons Fiennes is interested in this true life drama? Perhaps it is just a coincidence, but I will leave you with this: after Dickens’ death, his lover Nelly Ternan married a man 12 years her junior. Interesting, don’t you think?




This article was originally published at the PanAm Post you can see the original article here

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Nobel Prizes and “Noble” Prizes



Today the Canadian author Alice Munro was awarded with the 2013 Nobel Prize for Literature.

It is certainly one of the best news of the day, she is the 13th woman to receive the Nobel Prize in Literature.

As the USA Today said: “She’s arguably the most popular writer to win the prestigious award”, and I would add, most likely one of the less politically influenced authors as well.
She won the Nobel Prize for her short writing, that means that you don’t need to be a novelist to win the Nobel Prize. Her short stories are rich, beautiful and many are about women. In today’s phone interview that was made by the Nobel Prize Organization she recommends her latest book Dear Life: Stories for those that aren’t familiar with her work. 



I am thrilled for Mrs. Munro and I congratulate her for the well deserved award.

Of course not all Nobel Prizes are without controversy. The biggest critics always goes for the Nobel Peace Prize that is tied to politics instead of Peace.

Some might say is the “noble” of them all, I would said is the most corrupted of them all. When instead of going for the most deserved candidate it usually goes to the most “politically correct”, and the one that is in accordance to the political agenda of the day.

You all remembered when President Barack Obama was awarded with the Nobel Peace Prize back in 2009, at the time he haven’t done anything for the global peace, instead he was awarded by his political career.

I wonder what will the Nobel Prize Committee will say now? “He's engaged in a drone strike campaign that would make Bush blush. George W Bush conducted 45 drone strikes as President, killing 477. Barack Obama conducted 316 drone strikes, killing 2,363. These figures are from the New America Foundation – and the total dead is probably an underestimate. The Foundation says that the number killed could be as high as 3,404 including 307 civilian men women and children. One leaked document suggested that drones had killed 94 kids in 3 years”. According to Dr. Tim Stanley article for The Telegraph.  Wow!!!

This year the Nobel Peace Prize Committee announced that there are 259 candidates for this year Nobel Peace Prize. Fifty of them are organizations. Being the highest number of Candidates ever.

According to PRIO (The Peace Research Institute Oslo) Director, Kristian Berg Harpviken speculations, the Nobel Peace Prize of this year will go to any of these nominees in his shortlist:
  • Malala Yousafzai
  • Lyudmila Alexeyeva, Svetlana Gannushkina and Lilya Shibanova
  • Sister Mary Tarcisia Lokot
  • Claudia Paz y Paz
  • Denis Mukwege
If you ask me, the Prize should go without doubt to the real fighter and she is Malala Yousafzai. The 16 year old girl who in 2008 was 11 when the Taliban prohibited education for girls (in addition to prohibit music, television, etc), in Pakistan  and she publicly said: "How dare the Taliban take away my basic right to education?".

She started a campaign and fought for her rights and become one of the voices of the girls and women in Pakistan.

In October 2012 she survived an assassination attempt and now has told her story to the world in her book I Am Malala.

If the Nobel Peace Prize Committee has some decency and honor it will award the Prize to Malala. She will become the youngest recipient of a Nobel Peace Prize.

One of the other nominees is Claudia Paz y Paz, a Guatemalan.  Guatemala has a history of being awarded with Nobel Prizes. In 1967 the Nobel Prize for Literature was for Miguel Angel Asturias and in 1992 The Nobel Peace Prize to Rigoberta Menchú.

I am not here to discuss these two, nevertheless, I know very few who believe Rigoberta Menchú deserved the Nobel Prize. She has less than 3% of acceptance in the Country. She was used by the International Political Agenda of France, Norway & Co. She fought for her interests and no one elses. But that is an old tale.

Claudia Paz y Paz nomination is explained in the words of Kristian Berg Harpviken: “Claudia Paz y Paz Bailey, attorney general in Guatemala, had been responsible for the trial against former President, General José Efraín Ríos Montt, the first time when a former head of state has been charged with genocide by national courts”.

General Efraín Ríos Montt, is an assassin, but he is not a genocide. I believe he should face Justice for the crimes he committed (that are many), but the list doesn't include genocide. This woman turned Guatemalan courts into a circus for the international community that wanted to take revenge on the General. She seem to forget that in a war, specially like the civil war that was fought in Guatemala for over 30 years, you were either communist or not. Part of the Guerrilla or not. It was not about your race, it was about which side you were in, as in any war.

The other day I was reading Ender's Game with my son, and in the book, Ender, the boy General that save the earth against the buggers, was later accused of genocide.  Same story here, wars are not just, are not fair, wars are wars. Many innocent are killed but that doesn’t make it a genocide. Genocide is the explicit purpose to exterminate a determined group or race.

After this woman tried to divide the country, turned brother against brother, and used women and children as dices for her political agenda; you tell me she is in the short list for the Nobel Peace Prize?  What has she done to deserved it but to divide a nation that is struggling to heal after the Civil War? 

How dare she is in the same category of Malala? a child hero that fought with her life for her right to receive education?

I don’t know the other candidates well enough and I don't consider myself fit to give an opinion, but anyone deserve the Nobel Peace Prize more than Claudia Paz y Paz.

I hope common sense will prevail and I won’t have to wake up tomorrow when the Prize will be announce to another circus and a headache.

Guatemala, October 10th 2013

Please contact me if you find any grammatical errors, I apologize but English is not my native language.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Why The Fuss Over The Book Fifty Shades of Grey?


The erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey by British author E L James, has caused quite a fuss and is considered, in the United Kingdom as the best-selling English novel of all times. With estimates as of today, of 70 million copies sold worldwide, twelve of these in Britain and thirty-five in the United States, both in print and digital formats (e-book).


The plot revolves around the relationship of a university student of Literature, Anastasia Steele, and the young entrepreneur Christian Grey. The trilogy has been made famous by the story of his various sexual encounters, during which explores the dark side of romance, through submission, sadomasochism and domination.


Literary critics have been very harsh on the book, attacking the book for being poorly written and the lack of literary value. I am not a literary critic, neither I pretend to be one, however I would like to address the unleashed controversy through a sociological analysis.


First, we must consider that the value of any item or service is set by the consumer, based on supply and demand. The literary standard may say that the book is worthless, but there are 70 million people around the world who say otherwise, and the book have become a "bestseller". We live in a Democracy and we are ruled by the tyranny of the majority, whether we like it or not. I also disagree with most of the election results, but still I have to learn to cope with them. Instead of criticizing, the literary community should be analyzing what is happening with these wonderful works of perfect prose, that very few are interested in reading.


Second, the fact that readers are shocked by the erotic charge of each sexual encounter, and in turn, experience longings for experiences that were totally unknown before, says a lot about our modern society. We live in a sexually liberated society, but this phenomenon makes it clear that a large majority have only known missionary sex, procreative and unimaginative. A person who knows itself and has reached sexual fulfillment should not be offended by a book. To my surprise, there are many women who have discovered through this reading a parallel world full of possibilities previously unthinkable.


Third, this book is a setback for modern feminism. The main character, Christian Grey, is a successful entrepreneur, millionaire, handsome, chauvinist, dominant and controlling. It represents everything that modern feminists despise and consider it abominable. It would be nice to wake up from dreamland and recognize that the well understood Feminism grew out of the struggle in societies where women were suppressed, having only obligations and lacked the primary rights (right to receive education, rights to work, vote, and even the right of not wear a corset). Feminism has become a harmful current, where the woman is masculinize and the man has lost his manhood. However, there are millions of women pining for a "successful male" as Grey. Some feminists argue that thanks to them women are free to seek this type of "female porn", a fact that lacks fundaments.


The British screenwriter Kelly Marcel, who has been selected by Universal Pictures and Focus Features to write the script that will bring the trilogy to the big screen, described Grey as "old-fashioned and romantic". As anthropologists would say, we are animals, where the dominance is for the alpha male, the strongest of the pack, the one with more success, power and money.


Only time and history will give the real value of this book, and will answer the question if it will be considered as a classic of literature by future generations. However, there is no doubt that makes us think about our contemporary and modern society, the standards and values ​​that supposedly govern us ... versus reality.



This article was originally published in the Panamanian Magazine Intuición, Third Edition. You can see the original article here.
Please contact me if you find any grammatical errors, I apologize but English is not my native language

Friday, July 5, 2013

Lame Excuses





I believe that there is no one who likes people who makes excuses, however, most of us constantly do in varying degrees.


I think excuses are a way to protect our subconscious, it is easier to blame someone or something rather than accept our mistakes and take responsibility over our actions.


The worst kind of excuses, and the most harmful, are those when we lie to ourselves about our own inability to give direction to our lives.


I present for your consideration and analysis the eight excuses I hear most often:


8 - I don’t shave my legs because I'm alone. Meaning, I have no boyfriend, husband, lover etc.


This one is a favorite among many single women, also one of the most absurd. Let me tell you that having your beautiful legs full of hairs like a Neanderthal is not going to solve the problem, let alone help you find a boyfriend or husband.


I shave because I like to feel clean, hair-free. It is absurd to shave only when I have a date or when I’ll eventually have a boyfriend. You have to shave to feel feminine, though no one can see you. If I am expected to have a boyfriend in order to shave, that means that I'm doing something for someone else, and that's a big mistake. If you are too lazy for shaving or waxing, laser hair removal is becoming more and more affordable, you might buy a special package or start saving for this purpose, is worth it! Your self esteem will appreciate it.


7 - I don’t use sexy underwear because I'm alone; I have no boyfriend, husband, lover, friend with benefits, etc.


This is very similar to the previous case, if I don’t feel sexy and feminine and can’t appreciate my body, much less I will feel confident with a man. If I’ll do it just to please him, then I'll be a hypocrite. I wear sexy underwear for me. It's my secret with the world, no one can see me, only I know! I hear all the time the excuse that sexy underwear is not comfortable, that is not true. Maybe some kind of lingerie, the kind that is aim to please, not to wear. Nowadays, there are plenty of styles and textures that are equally comfortable and sexy. The hipsters, or boyshorts are sexy and comfortable. Another big mistake is to think that Grandma's panties are more comfortable. First of all, they will mark in your tight pants, therefore your buttocks will have a funny shape. If you have big hips or if you are overweight, it will make your imperfections more obvious. Second, like most granny panties are made of cotton, they’ll expand with every wash, and eventually will become more uncomfortable than a thong one size smaller (I'm sure you know what I mean). About 85 to 90% of women are wearing the wrong size of bra. How can you look sexy if you are wearing a wrong size? Major brands of lingerie can have you measured for free. Since our body constantly suffer from variations in weight and age, is advisable to do it at least every two years.


6 - I'm too fat or overweight, and I have to exercise and diet.


Honestly, what can I tell you? No big deal! No, don't expect me to do that. My advice is: If you're choosing to be overweight, be at least happy and learn to accept yourself and your body as it is. Please, stop the whining or do something about it. When someone really wants to lose weight they’ll do it, but it is a sacrifice and strength and willpower are required. I tremendously admire people who have done it.


Do not expect my empathy, I have none, I'm tired of people complaining about their body images while they do nothing to change. I personally love Queen Latifah, she knows how to look good and show her curves. There are plenty of women like her, they feel sexy and happy with their curves and extra pounds, they love themselves and embrace their femininity.


After spending 39 years of my life being the skinny bitch people envied because I could've eat anything without gaining weight, and easily weight down with a simple cold; I turned 40, and I was welcomed with another year of life, and 15 extra pounds! If it wouldn't have been for that blessed 2% lycra / spandex in my pants, I would have had to buy a whole new wardrobe. After trying fruitless diets, I realized that I was not born for dieting. I love to eat, I love food of any kind. Thanks to my blessed genetics (thanks mom and dad) I’ve never had the need of diets. Now with my extra 15 pounds, I decided that I like how I look, and I'm embracing my Latin heritage wearing some curves. Conclusion: In order to keep my 15 pounds and at the same time get rid of my muffin top, I needed to exercise. With a little of exercise and willpower I have managed to wear a decent figure and give honor to my now 41 years. I am lazy and I can’t deny you that. I make many excuses to avoid the gym, therefore I have focus on the fact that exercise not only helps my figure but it helps my brain, because it brings oxygen to my brain cells (Brain Rules by John Medina). I am vain, and I take care of my body for vanity, but my brain is my biggest pride. Exercise is good for my brain, and that has become my biggest incentive.


5 - My boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife etc., Does not love me, respect me, is a good for nothing, is cheating on me, etc.


Here are two options: leave the person and start over, or stop the whining. As if its not enough to complain with friends and family people are now posting their intimacies on Facebook to make a public statement. If you're like a fly swimming in a pond of sh*t, you have two options get the hell out of it, and choose to swim in honey, or keep swimming in sh*t, but be happy, and accept that it was your decision to be there. Stop playing the victim, the power of change is in our hands, its a matter of CHOICE. I know it requires to make a tough decision. But, if you never do it, you will never fight for your happiness.


People like to be heard (who doesn’t?) What I do not understand is that most people only listen to show false pity! Humans are morbid, it is a comfort to fools. I’ve heard many people saying: "I am in a very bad position, but they are doing worse" What kind of consolation is that? If you're not going to do anything about it and change the situation that bothers you, it is better not to give them the pleasure to be their daily gossip, and avoid to be repetitive. This applies to anyone who complains about work. Who prevents you from quitting?


4 - I'm going to remodel my home, have a makeover, a new hairstyle, change my hair color, etc.


When? You don’t need to let me know that you will, years will pass and you’ll keep saying the same thing. Do you realize that you lose credibility? Do it now and surprised me, I do not need the warning. If you are still unsure then stop wasting my time and yours. We can talk about more productive things, right? Sometimes we go too far ahead making plans and forget that the future begins today. They are not unattainable dreams, they are small things that will make a positive change in our image and into our lives. To remodel the house, you just need to rearrange the furniture and move a few things around.


Honestly I do not know if I will be alive tomorrow, I live for today and now. The past is gone and the future is uncertain, but it starts NOW. I recommend you read the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle


3 - I will travel the world when I retire.


Really? Sure, travel could be expensive, but I prefer to save now and travel while I still don’t need help of a walking stick. Who can guarantee me that I will have money then? One of the places I like the most is Thailand. The direct flight from Los Angeles is 17 hours. 17 hours without arthritis! During the trip, I almost got claustrophobic. What about going to Cusco and then take the train to Machu Picchu? Or visit the temples of Tikal? The Pyramids of Egypt? In today’s world visit the Empire State Building and the Eiffel Tower means security checkpoints and long lines, and never mind that airports have turned into a nightmare. Again, save today. We spend money on nonsense, you can save money if you want to. Seize the day, today we are alive and we can afford the luxury of health and youth. I'm not saying do not travel in old age, but I think you will enjoy more adventures today.


2 - I didn’t have time to respond to your email, text message, or phone call.


The busiest people I know always have time to respond, because they know the value of time and are very well organized.


Frankly speaking, sometimes I swear I reply to an email, because when I read it I replied mentally. But later forgot to answer back. The truth is that if my interest is real, I follow up. Being really honest, I have sinned of not knowing what to reply or what to say. But its not lack of time, is lack of will. Thanks to smartphones we have no excuses, we are connected all the time.


1 - It was not my intention.


For me this is the worst and most detestable of the excuses. You know what, God or your conscience judges intentions. Your actions are the ones that f*ck*d me. The worst thing about these people is that when you confront them, they become the victims because they say you are judging their intentions. No! You are mistaken, I judge your actions, I don’t care about your intentions. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”.


Some examples:


  • Infidelity: I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you! Really?

  • Work colleague: It wasn’t my intention, I really thought you haven’t done anything, or you were delayed and just wanted to help you. Help me?, really? More obnoxious are the bosses who listen to those good Samaritans. Same thing happens in colleges, schools and universities.

  • In laws... The stories are too many, but I'm sure you know the kind of "good intentions" to which I refer.


How can I make people understand? I don’t care about the intentions of their actions (Can I share a secret? You are not as important in my life as you believe!). Your actions which generate harmful consequences are the ones that bother me. Stop saying "I didn’t mean to", that is the lowest of excuses, and sadly the one I hear most often. That is a cowards excuse. Let’s begin to take responsibility for our own actions and face the consequences of them.


These are the excuses that I hear most often, and quite honestly I am not without sin. Some of these I have used. I would love to hear yours. Feel free to leave a comment.

Please contact me if you find any grammatical errors, I apologize but English is not my native language.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Being Single, Divorced & Happy

"Relationships are complicated and complex, being single and divorced is a challenge."


I am single, divorced and Happy! Most people after hearing me say this think I am exaggerating or completely crazy. In a world where having a partner is ideal, it is unthinkable to be single let alone, happy.


More than a few times people have told me, I'm sorry! When I say that I am divorced. Sorry? Why? I feel quite the opposite. Let's be honest, although the number of divorces are increasing every day, there remains a major social prejudice against "our kind". Most see us as depressive, promiscuous, losers and as if that were not enough, they have pity on us!


Today, I intend to show you the other side of divorce, the lives of eight happy divorcees, from four different countries, religions, professions, and backgrounds.


Before proceeding, let me clarify that this is not an ode or to Divorce neither a any kind of propaganda. I firmly believe that it would be wonderful to have a partner, enjoy a stable, loving and satisfying relationship, where both work hard to make it work. I know people that are very happy in a relationship, they all agree that it is a difficult job, a daily decision to love your partner, where each give the best of themselves, especially in difficult times. Good relationships do not exist alone, require effort and dedication. A French friend who is very happily married, told me that in her life she has never worked so hard for anything, despite running a Political and Economical Research Institute, write books, participate in local and international debates, nothing compares to the effort that has been working for her relationship with her partner, "its exhausting," she said, however, "I am very happy ..."


Let me now introduce to V, she is 36, Sales Director for a prestigious Real Estate Development. She's very pretty and sexy, the kind of beauty that could have been a professional model in her youth, she also looks ten years younger, she is classy and elegant. A lovely human being, warmth, and affectionate . In addition to all of the above,  she is divorced and happy. V, married when she was 20 and had three children. She was married for about eight years, “the worse thing is that people tend to feel sorry for us; in my mindset I actually started to live, and my life changed for the best even though the amount of pressure I have raising my children by my self is bigger”. She doesn’t think she will marry again, “maybe meet somebody and have company but not necessary marry again. My ideal person would be someone with values, someone who shares the same goals or who aspire similar goals, with his priorities in order, someone who is hard worker, who values and respect his partner and so on”.  V's children were very young when she divorced, they don’t remember what it was like to have their parents living together, which has contributed to the children emotional health. "I am very thankful and happy for all I have, I feel blessed with my kids, they mean the world to me. My happiness is their happiness, and I am trying to teach them with my life how they should stay truthful for what they want and believe."


S, is 40, he is a Business Manager, handsome, successful and intelligent. For him, the divorce itself has made ​​him happier, "being married, I was unhappy because I lived for someone else who was not me. Divorced I feel alive. For me the result is that I have greater internal energy which helps me to unconsciously transmit this energy to those around me most importantly: “I have a better relationship with my daughters who I adore. They see me happy and therefore they are happy.”  S, does not want to remarry but doesn’t rule out a relationship with a woman that he wishes to be intelligent, mature and friendly with his daughters. The hardest part of his divorce was the conflict with his religious beliefs. His religion does not accept divorce, so he chose to stay away from religion, yet says, he is very close to God. Regarding his daughters, he expressed: “they suffered at the beginning. However they were being seriously damaged while they had their parents living under the same roof.  I can see them happier now. They are getting used to it. They now know how to split their time. It is not the ideal scenario but it's their reality, our reality”.


R, is 39, Entrepreneur, a remarkable man who has dreams of a better world. Successful, attractive, good friend. He would like to remarry if he finds the right person. R, shared something very wise and mature "I feel the first time you marry someone, you look for what you want and what you like, in many cases overlooking what you don't like or want. For the second time I feel the person adds more importance in what he or she do not want. I am not saying that is good or bad, is simply the way it is. In consequence, generally, second marriages take more time to happen but (usually) perform well”. R got married at 32 and was married for about five years, had no children and he sees himself as a happy person living a fulfilling life. "I am happy and if I ever get married again it will be only if my happiness increases".


M, is 37, Real Estate Broker. M, is one of my best friends. She is a beautiful, petite and attractive woman. I know few people who dress with such elegance and taste. Not even at the beach I have seen her wearing something out of place or loose her glamour. Her good taste is reflected not only in the way she dress but also at her home and at work. Whatever she does, she does it with excellence. She would do anything to help a relative or friend. Beautiful inside and out. M, married at age 23 and has been divorced for six years. She has two children, and she believes they were not affected by the divorce. Her divorce was conducted amicably, without discussions in a mature way with her former husband. M considered herself to be very happy, she tries to live her life to the fullest and at the moment her priority is her work, to who she depends economically; her happiness is her children and their happiness. Her ideal partner would be "a divorced man with children like me, affectionate, intelligent, funny with good manners and values, professional, handsome with high self esteem and someone who has a healthy relationship with his ex-wife. I don’t want anything negative for our relationship”. The funniest thing someone has told her is that she must be crazy if she wish to remarry”.



C, is 46 years old, Entrepreneur, Telecom and ICT Engineering Professional. He is a sexy and lovely man. He married when he was 27 and divorced 10 years ago. His son was 3 years old and he doesn’t remember when his parents lived together and is well adapted. C, would like to marry again, but is not actively looking for anyone. “What I am looking for, is a woman who can bring the best out of me. I am looking for a higher love. What I want is a love that surpasses the desire for worldly pleasures. I want a like minded person, emotionally mature and intelligent. I want relationship full of trust, affection, desire for each other, compassion, love and harmony. I look for my best friend, a lover, and partner for life, all in one. I am happy about my achievements. I am a self made man. I came from very humble beginnings. I am in a constant search for the truth. My achilles heel is my son, I miss him” (they are living in different countries at present, but they see each other often). “I am a very positive person, I do not entertain negative thoughts”.


A, is 42 years old, Industrial Designer, a sexy woman who likes to lead a healthy lifestyle. Exercise is an important part of her life. A, not sure if she would like to marry again. She married at age 25 and has been divorced for three years. She has one daughter and thanks to the maturity in which she and her former husband have brought the divorce, her daughter is completely adapted. She considers herself a happy person who has reached her goals and live her life to the fullest.


A, is 41 years old, life model and writer. He is handsome, intelligent and likes to look at life from different angles. He has a passion for cars and motorcycles. He married when he was 30 years old and has been divorced for six years, (although he separated two years before that). After his divorce he entered the University and obtained a degree in English with Creative Writing. A, does not rule out the possibility of remarriage, “getting married again is a possibility, so I'm open to idea if I meet the right person”. Regarding his ideal person, he replied: “what I'm looking for is someone who is intelligent and interesting with a joyful outlook on life”.  He considers that in a scale from 1-100%, perhaps he is 50% happy. For now, he is focused in his next stage and that would be his career taking one step at a time. A, has no children.


Finally, C she is 45, she has a Catering Company, and is a beautiful woman inside and out. She likes to learn new things and be a better person every day. Her greatest conflict after her divorce was to recover her identity, since many people only knew her by her husband family name. She would like to remarry if she meets a happy man, emotionally detached. Her teenage daughters are adapted to the divorce and they seem happy. She married at age 27 and has been divorced for eight years. She Considers herself to be 100% happy.


What do these people have in common besides being divorced? The answer is very simple, they all learned to love, accept, value, and respect themselves. They learned that they don’t need another person in order to be happy, they let aside the emotional ties. When your happiness depends on someone else, you are in serious trouble.
None of them is going through a deep depression, they learned to live each day to the fullest and with intensity.


There is no such thing as an easy divorce, but if it gets to that point, it must be dealt with maturity and objectivity. Wasn’t that the idea? Stop fighting and end a relationship that was not working? However, due to the immaturity of a large majority of divorcees, people tend to stereotype. There are plenty of unstable people, who have addictive relationships and are unable to break ties. But is not everyone.
We are also called promiscuous, promiscuous? The most promiscuous people I know are "happily married" or in a relationship. When you are divorced you have no need.


There is another world beyond these people. There is a group of  stable and happy people like the ones I have introduced you.


Nobody said it was easy, and many call us losers and cowards for not fighting for the sake of the relationship.
Let me tell you something very personal. I needed a lot of courage and strength to take the decision to divorce, it would have been much easier for me to keep my status and continue with my marriage. That would have been much easier, but that would’ve been a grave mistake. I would’ve have fail to achieve my happiness. In order to keep my integrity I needed be truthful to myself, to my principles and my beliefs. I see it as an act of courage, a leap into the unknown, an abyss that I didn’t know what lays at the bottom. I was scared to death. But it was necessary to grow as a person. The responsibility was tremendous and the fear even worse, How much will my child suffer? Will I hurt my husband? What will my family and friends going to think? What will become of me? Will I be able to start a new life?
Cowards? We are not, nothing could be further from the truth.


It is thanks to this act of courage that I can honestly tell you today that I am a happy, complete and satisfied person. I learned to be happy, to love and accept myself. If I ever have the good fortune to meet that special person with whom I would like to share my life, it will be because this person will be someone I can share my happiness with, someone that will complement me, and brings the best out of me.


Last but not least I would like to thank my wonderful friends who shared with us their personal experiences. You have enriched my life and the life of those who will read us.
I wholeheartedly wish you all the happiness in the world. To my dear readers, I appreciate the time you spent on reading this, it was a little bit longer than I usual, but it was necessary. I'd love to hear your comments. Thank you!





Please contact me if you find any grammatical errors, I apologize but English is not my native language.